MAN SELLS CABBAGES FROM NISSAN GTR
Only in Nairobi will you find a man casually selling mbogas out of a machine that sounds like it could outrun a thunderstorm! Yesterday, city dwellers did double-takes, triple blinks, and even a few neck sprains when a shiny, roaring Nissan GTR—the kind of car you only see in Fast & Furious movies—pulled over near the busy streets of Kilimani.
The boot pops open, and what do we see? Not champagne. Not designer sneakers. CABBAGES. Fresh, green, round cabbages sit pretty where suitcases full of millions usually chill.
Eyewitnesses say the man, dressed like he just came from a casual lunch with Jeff Bezos, was politely shouting, “Five bob ya kila moja, leo tunamaliza stock!” as the GTR’s turbo purred behind him like an impatient dragon.
One confused onlooker asked, “Bro, umechoma mboga ama umechoma mafuta?” Another whispered, “Hii ndiyo economy imefika level ya Drag Race Sukuma Edition!”
A small crowd gathered, half to buy cabbages, half to admire the car, and 100% to update their WhatsApp statuses.
Rumor has it he even offered free test drives for anyone who bought a full sack of cabbages. One lady allegedly bought almost 10 just to ride shotgun and Snapchat!
Moral of the story: In Nairobi, you don’t chase the bag. You chase the cabbage.
Whether you’re driving a Probox or a GTR, a hustle is a hustle! And this one? This one came with horsepower, turbo boost, and a side of sukuma wiki.
